Before I share what God spoke to me, I want tell you about a personal victory I achieved this week! I have to admit, I’m super nervous about putting this down in black and white. Only a few of my closest friends know my actual weight and I just told them a short time ago! But, I’m going to take the power and shame away that those numbers have lorded over me my whole life by shouting them from the rooftop. Here goes.
My first mini goal was to get below 300 pounds. When I started this journey with E4M, I was 326.6 pounds. (That wasn’t even my heaviest….I won’t say where I was previously, but let’s just say it was a lot more than that.) When I got on the scale Friday, I could hardly believe my eyes! I was hoping that I would hit the goal this week, as I was only 0.2 pounds above it last Friday. Boy howdy did I! I’m at 295.8! I am so excited at what God is doing! I’m getting stronger, feeling better and getting victory over my food addiction! Hallelujah!
Thanks for letting me share and making me feel safe to do so. I love you guys!
Back to the blog.
I had a bad day on Wednesday. It had nothing to do with food. It was all about my emotions. I was fine when I woke up, but at some point late in the morning, I got angry. Not just a bad mood, feeling kind of grumpy state, but a rage filled one. Typically, I’m an upbeat, fun-loving girl, but Wednesday, she was long gone and replaced by someone I didn’t recognize. Everything (and everyone) was getting on my nerves. I must have rolled my eyes at least 100 times that morning. I’m surprised they didn’t get stuck that way! Every Facebook post I read that day elicited a snarky comment. I was a jerk, frankly. I certainly didn’t want to go to the gym that day, but I made myself go. I was hoping that taking how I felt out on the elliptical and weights would make it go away, but it just aggravated how I was feeling. Let’s just say I wasn’t my best self.
I didn’t want to go to church either. I certainly didn’t want to be with that wonderful group of people in the Young Family Class. They are loving, caring and encouraging humans and in my current mood, the thought of being around such amazing people made me feel even worse about myself! However, I pushed past that and went on.
When I got to church, I was busy setting up and didn’t interact much. Probably good for them that I didn’t. HA! For those that I did talk to, I hid how I felt inside and put on a good show.
But, deep within, I was angry, near tears and just plain worn out.
Praise and worship started. The first song was great, but I was still in my funk. The Holy Spirit was there, but my flesh was raging war against it. I wanted so desperately to get out of mood I was in, but I felt so helpless and couldn’t get free. Finally, my precious friend, Melody, who was leading us in worship, began her transition to the final song and shared a testimony about how God helped her through the loss of her father three years ago. This immediately broke through my mood. I loved her dad! He was such a wonderful person and always made me feel loved and happy! A lot of memories from that time rushed over me. Reliving that and knowing what she went through, the tears began to flow as she shared a scripture that God gave her to help her get through it.
“This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.’
Immediately, I felt conviction about how I had acted that day. God reminded me that I had a choice to rejoice or wallow in my anger. I repented for allowing my flesh to rule me that day. As Melody began to sing, I felt the Holy Spirit wash over me and remove all the junk that had clung to me. The Lord spoke to me and said ‘Kellie! My grace is sufficient for you! Remember that!’ The relief and peace that followed can’t be described. I’m so thankful for the forgiveness Jesus gives and the peace that follows when we surrender to it.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’.
God’s grace is sufficient to get you through this journey to good health. His grace is sufficient to help you get through those days when you want to eat a truckload of sugar, carbs and fat. His grace is sufficient to guide you through every trial and struggle. His grace is definitely sufficient to help you deal with your emotions and not let them control you. His grace will help you choose joy over anger, gladness over mourning, peace over fear. His power is made perfect in all of the weaknesses you experience! God is enough.
E4M is a grace-filled, Holy Spirit covered ministry that is here to help you! If you are tired of fighting against your flesh and losing the battle over your weight loss, join us today!! Let God’s power be made perfect in you!
Thanks for sharing your testimony gave me encouragement this morning.